


Pop.

by FeliciaAmelloides



Series: A Oneshot a Day... [188]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: But It’s July, Crack, España Being Adorable, Fluff, Interdimensional Love, Love Actually - Freeform, M/M, Multi, Spamaino, innuendos, movies - Freeform, november - Freeform, polyamorous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-07 11:45:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15218444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FeliciaAmelloides/pseuds/FeliciaAmelloides
Summary: España is on Earth, so he, Spain and Romano decide to sit at home and watch a certain British Christmas classic to celebrate!...It’s November (and this fic was written in July), but does that really matter when it comes to love?





	Pop.

**Author's Note:**

> Spamaino is a crack ship I invented two years ago when I tried to write smut for the first time. To explain for readers new to the ship, España is the nickname for an alternate dimension version of Spain who has a similar personality but is a little more shy and pensive. In the original Spamaino oneshot, Spain summoned him to Second (the dimension Hetalia is set in according to me- our world is First, and the 2P world is Third) where he fell in love with both him and Romano. They ended up getting together, and España comes to Second every month to see them. Also, España is a God in his dimension (all the countries are)- a God of Turtles.
> 
> The Spanish Tortuga Squad is a trio of turtles who control space-time in España’s dimension and act as his aides. Turtire is literally just Sapphire from Steven Universe as a turtle, Memele is a living meme and Pasta (not mentioned here) is a shy and sensitive turtle who is quite literally constantly crying. Whatever he’s sad about will appear as static or moving images on the back of his shell.
> 
> Okay, enough explaining! Please enjoy the Hetaboo me’s crack ship!

_Pop_. 

The brunet’s bottom lip jutted out as he stared intently at the microwave, his emerald green eyes reflected back at him in the glass. 

_Pop_. The little golden niblet exploded into a big white edible thing. 

...which sounds like an innuendo **come** to think of it.

All of a sudden, the microwave made a disturbing noise before a cacophony of ‘pops’ resounded through the kitchen. The man who had been watching leapt back with a cheer of delight and raced around the room smiling and whooping. He looked toward the door, breathless and exhilarated, when he caught the eyes of a silent observer.

“It’s just popcorn, bastard. Nothing to freak out about.” Romano brushed past him into the kitchen where he removed the now fully-popped corn from the microwave and loaded it into a large bowl. España looked taken aback by that comment.

“Whaddaya mean, _just popcorn_? That’s the most awesome thing I’ve ever seen! I’ve _got_ to bring some home for my Tortuga Squad!” The god grinned and squealed in excitement. Romano just huffed as he turned back to España with the popcorn bowl in hand. 

“Pretty sure turtles can’t eat popcorn.” He deadpanned before returning to the living room where Spain waited with a movie ready. They were going to watch some weird British Christmas movie even though it was November because España said that Memele said it was dank. Yeah, that’s exactly what it sounds like. España hurried after him.

“My turtles aren’t regular turtles, y’know? I bet they could eat popcorn. I mean, Memele smokes weed! How is popcorn any different?” Spain laughed from his place on the sofa. Romano joined him, annoyed to sit between them but glad he was in the middle for once instead of Spain.

“See if Turtire knows. She can predict the future, so she’ll be able to tell you if it’ll kill them or something.” For once, Spain actually had a good idea. España smiled approvingly and nodded.

“Okay. I’ll make sure to when I get back.” He slung an arm casually around Romano’s shoulders as he spoke, then blushed when Spain did the exact same thing at the exact same time. Both of them looked at each other, then shrugged lightly and kept their arms there while Romano glared at them both.

España was pretty excited to see the movie. He still wasn’t quite used to Earth’s culture despite having been visiting there every month for three years, but he definitely was beginning to familiarise himself with it. It was so strange to return to his home dimension and see his turtles in their cloudy palace after a trip to the vibrant, colourful land his boyfriends called home. 

It was strange to use that term. ‘Boyfriends’. Plural. Not that España minded having more than one. He felt like maybe the others did a little, however. Earth culture was against polygamy in most places, despite it being perfectly normal back home. France had four wives and three husbands who were all in love with each other just as much as they were in love with him, and England, America and Canada appeared to be testing the waters too from what España had seen at the last Meeting of the Gods. He was fairly certain Preußen, Österreich and Magyarország were about to invite Suisse/Schweiz/Svizzera to be apart of their little love frying pan too.

Okay, that was a _lot_ more common than he’d realised. Maybe he just hadn’t thought about it before? Probably. Either way, España didn’t want to hurt Spain or Romano, so he tried his best to be as careful as possible when around other people. He knew neither of them were out yet either, which made it even more important to hold his tongue. Fortunately, España was much better at this than his Second World counterpart. 

The movie started with a scene in an airport, where lots of people were hugging and a voiceover played in the background. Romano scoffed and muttered something about cheese while Spain and España gazed at the screen in transfixed silence. 

As the movie continued, the trio ended up tangled up together with España lying upside down over the front of the sofa with his head on the floor and his legs underneath Romano, Spain ending up on the opposite side of the sofa to where he started and Romano becoming sprawled out across the sofa with his head buried in Spain’s chest, sobbing uncontrollably.

By the end of the movie everyone was on the floor crying and the empty popcorn bowl was on Spain’s head. 

“Olivia... Olson... is so cute as a little kid!” España sobbed. Memele had made him a huge fan of Ms Olson after introducing him to the meme-filled world of Adventure Time, and now he couldn’t stop shipping her with that blond boy who vaguely resembled Newt from the _Maze Runner_ franchise.

“They couldn’t understand each other... but they were so perfect for each other anyway!” Romano screeched through floods of tears. Meanwhile, Spain’s face had become one with the carpet.

“That jerk left her because she’s a good sister!” Was possibly what he mumbled into the fluffy fabric. 

Five minutes later, all three of them were fast asleep on the floor surrounded by love, tears and popcorn.

The End...?

**Author's Note:**

> Spamaino 1 isn’t available on the Internet anymore I’m afraid, so sorry if this made absolutely no sense whatsoever. I’m not very good at writing poly relationships, but I hope I did a good job despite this being absolute trash! 
> 
> I’m using the same words too often :-/
> 
> There’s actually a Spamaino 2 (also smut, but much better written than the first) which has never existed on the Internet. It’s in a notebook under my bed, and I’ve never been more afraid. 
> 
> My best smut so far (the first three all involved Spain and Romano, and none of them were good) is Denial, which is Kyman. Maybe I should stop with Spamano? Yeah, probably.
> 
> ~~Not gonna happen.~~
> 
> Prompt- Fluffy Spamaino (can be platonic)
> 
> It wasn’t platonic.
> 
> Original Number- 59


End file.
